Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Stars of the Wedding

Best Man: George Korniotis

George will be featured in a supporting role on May 16th. But, as anyone who has experienced an event with Sir George will testify, he is a stage-hogger of leading man proportions.

From an early age, George hoped to be anointed with best man honors. When it turned out that Matt’s neighbor’s dog had a prior commitment on the 16th, George was indeed tapped. He is rumored to be preparing a toast so scintillating that it will send shockwaves through the Plunkett-Johnson community.

“Giorgos” hails from the ancient island civilization of Cyprus. Like the South, Cyprus is famous for its bbq, but mostly for its bbq’d cheese – Haloumi. His island also witnessed the birth of Venus and (several centuries later) the rise of Michalos the Great, George’s father. M-t-G recently fulfilled an ancient prophecy of the Cypriot people when he forged the great ring-of-power that now adorns Mary Catherine’s hand.

Matt met George in the first days of graduate school. When George was a gritty tank commander in the Cypriot army, the music of Gloria Estefan and Whitesnake inspired him to chase his dreams in the U.S.A. When he mentioned this, Matt immediately realized George could benefit greatly from his tutelage. George quickly immersed himself in the lexicon of the California coast, and now places “dude” between every sentence.

By day, George works tirelessly at the Federal Reserve in DC to save our economy from collapse. For a small fee, he may be willing to whisper in Bernanke’s ear to apply some TARP money to your mortgage. George has been mentioned in both the New York Times and Wall Street Journal and has penned barn-burning page-turners published with enticing exotic titles like “Estimating Panel Models with Internal and External Habit Formation.” By night, he trades his Brooks Brothers for Prada and hits the town.

Few know that George is also a master in the ancient martial art of Budokon. We suspect that he does it mostly for the cool black outfit.

By the way, George knows of no embarrassing stories about Matt, so there’s no point in asking him. The wedding is a rare public appearance for the normally reclusive star, so consider yourselves lucky.

1 comment:

  1. I know a couple good ones about Matt, so someone hand me a vodka gimlet and I'll get started.